Series of unfortunate events!!
Coming to US for higher studies was not a good idea. This is what comes to my mind when my friends sitting in India say "You are don, doing MS and all in US". I get to this conclusion looking at the series of unfortunate events that started happening the moment I decided I wanted to go, till date. The events keep on piling up and never promise to cease.
Year 2007 was not the best year I ever had, unfortunately twas the worst year of my life. A series of unfortunate events with friends and family were not enough when another day in 2007 walked along with a not so pleasant news of self realization. The only good thing I felt happened, was the visa grant and me coming over here. The self realization was not good enough when I lost my love. Yes, its pretty much open. I lost her.
I traveled here hoping to make great new friends. As one of my friends wrote on his Gmail status message, "Welcome to USA, the land of opportunities and the land of ultimate loneliness", it was pretty much the same. People started staying secluded, understandable that everyone is running the same rat race. I realized that a meeting over a cup of coffee does not stay together for more than a year. Neither does a pleasant meet with a complete stranger in a project competition last more than a year. The fact however remains that the stranger is no more a stranger while the coffee mates are still strangers. You pay for loving people and helping people.
Things change and the pressure of staying at the top and surviving between ungrateful people takes the toll. The events continued with loosing a good friend and some special people who once were termed "Close". One thing I learned amidst all this is foresight. How to avoid getting into unnecessary things. Not being a contender for becoming the president of the Indian association for UNCC, was indeed a a very good example.
All the cliches apply to this situation. Love lost, heart broken et. al. Recently, one of my heart broken friend put up this on his status message, "Forget the times he walked by, Forget the times he made you cry, Forget the times he spoke your name, Remember now your not the same. Forget the times he held your hand, Forget the sweet things if you can, Forget the times & Don't pretend, Remember now he's just your friend". Makes sense!!
Loosing loved ones is definitely not a great feeling.Specially when your loved ones get a feeling you used em. Certainly not great. So folks all n all, not a great 2008 too :) and as one of my close friends used to say, "The problem is with you, it will be difficult for anyone to adjust" makes sense to me. One of my friends said, "I've changed since I've come to US, I am no more the same". My question is, was it needed? Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult. As we do at such times I turned on my automatic pilot and went through the motions of normalcy on the outside, so that I could concentrate all my powers on surviving the near-mortal wound inside. And I am happy to know that I have succeeded at it immensely.
I went to this rock concert this weekend. There were performances from the legendary "The Foreigners". They played a lot of numbers and the typical 80's soft love songs. While this was not enough for me :), along came Bryan Adams and dished out a helluva time. It was an amphitheater and a warm summer night. The moon was full and orange gazing down on us. My heart skipped a beat as Bryan started "Everything I do, I do it for you". This was it. All the couples started swaying to this love song and the air was romantic. I gazed at the moon, picked up my cell phone and made that one last call. I wanted to dedicate this live song to someone special. Howevr, the phone went, you've reached the voice mail of .... unfortunate?? :).
While all this was happening there were 2 things that I knew were always with me, besides me. The love that my parents showed, the immense support from my brother and his wife. The appreciation shown by my family. The second thing was an abstract, invisible force that I constantly felt, pushing me further, pushing me towards the goal and holding me high above failure in the times of depression and lack of that special one. I call this force God!!
Adios,
$warup
Year 2007 was not the best year I ever had, unfortunately twas the worst year of my life. A series of unfortunate events with friends and family were not enough when another day in 2007 walked along with a not so pleasant news of self realization. The only good thing I felt happened, was the visa grant and me coming over here. The self realization was not good enough when I lost my love. Yes, its pretty much open. I lost her.
I traveled here hoping to make great new friends. As one of my friends wrote on his Gmail status message, "Welcome to USA, the land of opportunities and the land of ultimate loneliness", it was pretty much the same. People started staying secluded, understandable that everyone is running the same rat race. I realized that a meeting over a cup of coffee does not stay together for more than a year. Neither does a pleasant meet with a complete stranger in a project competition last more than a year. The fact however remains that the stranger is no more a stranger while the coffee mates are still strangers. You pay for loving people and helping people.
Things change and the pressure of staying at the top and surviving between ungrateful people takes the toll. The events continued with loosing a good friend and some special people who once were termed "Close". One thing I learned amidst all this is foresight. How to avoid getting into unnecessary things. Not being a contender for becoming the president of the Indian association for UNCC, was indeed a a very good example.
All the cliches apply to this situation. Love lost, heart broken et. al. Recently, one of my heart broken friend put up this on his status message, "Forget the times he walked by, Forget the times he made you cry, Forget the times he spoke your name, Remember now your not the same. Forget the times he held your hand, Forget the sweet things if you can, Forget the times & Don't pretend, Remember now he's just your friend". Makes sense!!
Loosing loved ones is definitely not a great feeling.Specially when your loved ones get a feeling you used em. Certainly not great. So folks all n all, not a great 2008 too :) and as one of my close friends used to say, "The problem is with you, it will be difficult for anyone to adjust" makes sense to me. One of my friends said, "I've changed since I've come to US, I am no more the same". My question is, was it needed? Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult. As we do at such times I turned on my automatic pilot and went through the motions of normalcy on the outside, so that I could concentrate all my powers on surviving the near-mortal wound inside. And I am happy to know that I have succeeded at it immensely.
I went to this rock concert this weekend. There were performances from the legendary "The Foreigners". They played a lot of numbers and the typical 80's soft love songs. While this was not enough for me :), along came Bryan Adams and dished out a helluva time. It was an amphitheater and a warm summer night. The moon was full and orange gazing down on us. My heart skipped a beat as Bryan started "Everything I do, I do it for you". This was it. All the couples started swaying to this love song and the air was romantic. I gazed at the moon, picked up my cell phone and made that one last call. I wanted to dedicate this live song to someone special. Howevr, the phone went, you've reached the voice mail of .... unfortunate?? :).
While all this was happening there were 2 things that I knew were always with me, besides me. The love that my parents showed, the immense support from my brother and his wife. The appreciation shown by my family. The second thing was an abstract, invisible force that I constantly felt, pushing me further, pushing me towards the goal and holding me high above failure in the times of depression and lack of that special one. I call this force God!!
Adios,
$warup
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